No Home Baked Goods for Me

I have to set the back story of this first. This past week was my birthday week. To finish off the week, the day before my party at my house, I broke my foot and am now in crutches. Before the incident, Ebeth kept telling me she hoped that at my party we would run into Grapefruit. Our plan was to sit on my back patio and drink beer and wait her out, then when we heard her, we were going to pounce. The broken leg put a damper on that idea.
So this past Sunday morning, the day after my little party (where I got to sit on the couch with my leg propped up all night), my dog needed to go out. Due to my temporary handicap, I have to let him out the front door. Ebeth asked if I needed her to take him out, and I assured her I could do it and needed practice. I opened the front door and saw Grapefruit's dog. I think I said "Shit", because the next thing I knew Ebeth was right beside me asking me who's dog it was. I told her it was Grapefruit's, and she nearly knocked me off my crutches getting the leash out of my hands.
Ebeth ran Bruiser outside. I watched for a moment from the front door then got scared Grapefruit would see me so I hobbled to the couch. Ebeth described the magical meeting to me over breakfast.
Grapefruit began talking to Ebeth through the glass door. She said the only thing she could make out was something like "don't worry, I am watching him", talking about her dog roaming free. Grapefruit continued talking to Ebeth, and she said she just smiled, nodded, and laughed, but didn't understand. Grapefruit finally came out of the front door and asked Ebeth if she was my sister. Ebeth told her no, she was a friend and was helping me out because I broke my foot.
"Amanda didn't tell me she broke her foot!" said a very surprised Grapefruit.
She made this sound like we chat on the phone everyday. I see her every once in awhile. If I had seen her, she obviously would have noticed my crutches and wrapped foot.
Ebeth assured her it had just happened a couple of days before. Grapefruit began telling her how nice it was for her to help me out. Little did she know, Ebeth nearly knocked my ass to the ground in an attempt to see her.
Over breakfast, my sister and Ebeth also tried to convince me that Grapefruit was going to start coming to check on me, bake me cookies, etc. I told them this was absolutely not going to happen- Grapefruit is very stuck in her own world, and is too busy pretending she is a recording artist. Hell, she probably doesn't even remember she was told I broke my foot. It has been almost 3 days since Ebeth met Grapefruit, and just as I said, she has not tried to check on me or bring me Grapefruit salad or anything. Don't worry about me Grapefruit, I'll be just fine.

In The Garden

I went to walk Bruiser the other night, and to my delight, Grapefruit was sitting in her carport with another elderly neighbor. After Bruiser did his business, Grapefruit waved me over. She told me she had just gotten word that her CD is available to buy. I immediately asked her where I could purchase it. She gave me the name of a website, and asked if I remembered that. I repeated it right back to her. She told me she was impressed. Little does she know I have been anxiously awaiting this, and was hoping to get it in time for my birthday party. She told me she would be getting some copies too, but they were for family and friends. I guess I am not a friend.
Grapefruit then told me her stage name (she called it her "performing name"). It was her maiden name or something as her last name. I expected more out of her, really. She also told me the name of the album, which she said translates into something like, In a Garden. I told her that was lovely. She reminded me a lot of the album was in Portuguese, so if I needed help with the translation, I was welcome to just knock on her door or look her up in the neighborhood directory. (note- reasons like this are why I refused to put my number in the directory).
Grapefruit then told me she would probably have to go back to Brazil soon. I asked why. "Well, to sign autographs and to put on performances, of course!". Of course.
As soon as I got in, I tried to look up the website to order my copy of Grapefruit's debut CD. The website was incorrect. I am not sure if she didn't know the right website, or if this is another lie. Oh, Grapefruit....

Summer Concert Series

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in my living room watching Dancing with the Stars. I kept hearing this weird noise, but figured it was the song on the TV the stars were dancing too. But the song ended and the show cut to commercial, and I still heard the noise. I muted my TV, and the noise became louder and worse. I ran upstairs to check on my cat and dog, they were both fine. I then started checking out my whole condo, terrified of what could be happening.
I heard some neighborhood dogs start barking, so I figured the noise was coming from outside. I peeked cautiously out the front blinds, and then I saw it.
Grapefruit Lady had set up a director's chair on the front porch and was singing. To the neighborhood. At 8:30pm. On a Tuesday evening.
I immediately ran upstairs to my guest room to see if I could get a better visual. I could not, because trust me, there would be a picture on this site if I could have. I can't tell if she sings in English or Portuguese. And I definitely could NOT tell what song she was singing. For someone who "recorded an album", it was pretty damn bad. I mean, I thought my animals were in danger.
She set the chair up again the next night, but the concert was rained out. I haven't heard her sing again, but I like to think it will be a nightly summertime event. One can hope.