Bowl Cut

The only way I found out I had a new neighbor is because I saw an SUV parked in Grapefruit's old carport and a shitload of empty boxes. I never once saw a moving truck or anyone at all, for that matter. The car was nice and I thought, maybe I have a normal neighbor! Maybe it will be like when I was in college and my neighbors were my age and we would sit outside and drink beers and listen to music and chat for hours. I watched like crazy for some sign of life to emerge from that home for about a week. Then one Saturday near Christmas, I saw my new neighbor.

We'd been having amazingly nice weather, and earlier in the day I had walked my dog in a long sleeved tshirt and jeans. Beautiful day. I'm in my living room when I hear the familiar sound of my next door neighbor's door opening. When Grapefruit lived there, that would be a sign for me to mute the TV and run into another room, but I wanted a look. I crept to the window, where I found a creature with a bowl cut wearing a huge white fur coat and carrying a large handbag running from the house and down the street. Odd. A few moments later, the person came running back with a handful of mail and ran into the home and closed the door. I sat pondering this. A bowl cut is not the most popular cut these days (though I did rock one in the 80's when I was 6).

As I am thinking about what kind of neighbor this is going to be, the SUV from the carport came hauling ass down the street and stops in front of our condos. Bowl cut gets out of the car, runs to their front door, stares at it, and takes off running down the street. I'm fucking baffled. The next thing I know, the SUV is speeding off.

I called my mother to tell her I was pretty sure my new neighbor was really really crazy, like mental ward crazy. My mom didn't think my examples of this crazy person sprinting up and down the street in a fur coat in 70 degree weather made her insane. I disagreed.

The next day was Sunday, and around 10am, I hear the door open and I peek out the side of the blinds. There's Bowl cut, and I can tell it's an Asian woman maybe in her 60's, and she is staring straight at me, so I slide off the couch and into the floor. (I am not that smooth). Then there was a knock at my door. The softest little knock that keeps going. I mean she is not letting up. I pick up Bruiser, who in a fit of excitement, manages to get his paw stuck in my tshirt and pull it down to a dangerously low point. I went with it and opened the door and stepped out for my first encounter with....
THE DRAGON FRUIT LADY.