How Grapefruit got her Nickname

Grapefruit Lady is one of these people that when you see them and they spot you, you say, "Oh shit". You know they mean well, but the thought of having a conversation with them makes you want to stab yourself in the eye. The conversation is always about something you could care less about, and usually very one-sided- THEIR sided. Since moving next door and realizing this trait about her, I have done my best to avoid her. One time I went to walk my dog and when I opened the back fence, I noticed her walking out her back fence, and I literally turned around and went back inside. One of THOSE people. Everyone knows someone like it. It's like the person at work that when you see them coming towards you, you suddenly have to make an important phone call.

On this particular occasion, I was walking towards my place after walking my dog when she pulls up to her carport. She jumps out of her car and comes towards me with a potted flower. (Note: For being old, she can really chase your ass down).
"Look at my tulips! I got them at Kroger's! Aren't they lovely?"
I know nothing about plants. I watered a dead cactus for months. But I told her they were lovely. We had a neighborly conversation about how great it was that it was getting warm, the flowers, etc. I politely told her goodbye and to have a good night. It was the first warm day of the year and I had had a long day at work, so I went into the house and got my book and a beer and headed to my patio. To give a visual for this scene, I have a large patio on the back of my condo. I am separated from my neighbors from a 6 foot tall privacy fence. And it really is private. Or so I thought.
"Do you like grapefruit?" I heard from her side of the fence. I dropped my book and took a sip of beer. She had to be talking to her dog. So I ignored her and sat in silence. Then...
"Amanda!" she yells. I didn't know what to do so I asked yes. "Do you like grapefruit?". Odd, but I told her sure. "Come have some with me, come on!" she insisted.

I am baffled at this point and don't know what the hell to do. I picked up my dog and we walked through the carport to her porch. She comes out of her house carrying 2 grapefruits and 2 knives and invites me to sit at her table with her. Grapefruit Lady then tells me all about how she is going to Colorado for her grandson's wedding. Meantime, I am wondering if I have ever even ate a whole grapefruit before, and I am struggling to get it all down. Grapefruit Lady slurps down her grapefruit in about 2 minutes and says "Oh that was refreshing" and goes inside to get the dog's treats. When she went inside, I realized I was stuck there. I had a couple of options. I could throw my remaining grapefruit onto my porch, or I could throw it out to the carport, which was more risky, because I had to hope a dog, cat, or bird would come along before her and eat the evidence. I didn't want to be there but I didn't want to be rude. I am a southerner.

Before I could really weigh my options, Grapefruit Lady comes back outside.
"I love fruit". She tells me. "I always have some at my house."
"Oh". I have nothing left in me.
"Now that it's getting warmer out we can do this all the time!"
Can we really? Because I can't think of anything I would rather do with my afternoons.
"Do you want to go for a walk?". I thank her for this offer but tell her I'm tired.
At this point I have to say that when you offend Grapefruit Lady or say something she doesn't like, I've noticed she cocks her head and smiles and repeats what you say. Which is exactly what happened now.
I grabbed my dog and hauled ass off her porch, thanking her for the grapefruit. She reminded me she always has fruit.

My mom told me Grapefruit Lady's just lonely, but that's what happens when you scare people off with your craziness.